Raw Deal 2: Rawer Deal

Passing through Stamford Hill a minute ago on the way to my local supermarket I saw a Hasidic Jew crouched down on the pavement smoking a cigarette in the dark. He looked pretty old and messed up and my first thought was: freelance journalist. My second thought was: me in 20 years time, no 10 years time, no tomorrow. My third thought was: ask him if he’s okay and he said that he was and for a second I thought he was going to offer me a cigarette (all I want to do these days is smoke), but he didn’t.

Yes, me in 10 years time, me tomorrow, all fucked up smoking cigarettes and curled up in a ball on the pavement. Two weeks ago I was earning 80p a word, but it feels like a lifetime ago. Scrap that: it feels like another person in another lifetime. 

I’m surprised that my football pitch hasn’t got anywhere. To my mind, it’s the best idea that I’ve ever come up with, but that’s not saying much. My most pleasing response so far was from Steve Gritt (wish I was called Steve Gritt) at Charlton, who has passed on my enquiry to their chief scout. He ended the email saying: “Good luck in the future with your ‘new’ career, but I would keep the pencil sharp just in case.” This probably makes little sense to new (or for that matter regular) readers and I can’t really be bothered going into it all again, but to briefly sum up I’ve asked for trials at every football club in the football league with a view to writing about the scouting process.

Ah, well that’s it for today. I’m off to curl up on the pavement and chain smoke.


6 responses to “Raw Deal 2: Rawer Deal

  1. Check out the most recent nominations on my website. You’ll be pleasantly surprised, as this is almost certainly the most publicity this blog will ever receive, unless you put porn on it. I saw some porn last night with a donkey in it. It wasn’t doing anything, just kicking about in the background doing donkey stuff while the people go it on. I’m not sure if I walked away from that grateful or disappointed.

  2. Well blow me down. Just as I was boasting about publicity, pitchingtheworld engages in an extravagant act of oneupmanship and dramatically unmasks himself on journalistsdirectory. In terms of unmaskings, it’s at least up there with people realising that Clark Kent is Superman when he takes his glasses off. Is this why pitchingtheworld wears glasses?

    I assume thousands of offers for columns from the world’s leading newspapers and magazines are going to be inundating this blog any time now, so thought I’d get in before the deluge. Might have to up the ante from blogger’s choice awards to Time’s man of the year.

  3. I often wondered what a blog was.
    So this it eh?
    How goes it with pitching the world? If you are keeping count of the number of publications pitched, perhaps you could post and let us know how it is progressing.

    Good luck


  4. Yes Tog, this is a blog. You could even argue that it’s THE blog, but you wouldn’t get very far as there are plenty of others, many of which – all of which -are much better than this.
    But I’ll plough on and, yes, at some point I’ll provide a thorough breakdown of what’s gone on so far. Thanks for the good luck.

  5. I think I know who you are? Have I seen you walking down Lordship Park with a jar of Beetroot?

  6. You think you know who I am? I have been known to walk up and down Lordship Park, sometimes with beetroot. More often though, with a can of super strength lager.
    Who are you?

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