What’s one of the greatest things that can happen to a writer? For a poet, it’s getting a fiver in a card from your Nan and a handjob – not from your Nan – in the same day. For this writer, it’s getting double-paid. Sometimes, this can happen through syndication of your work, but for pitchingtheworld earlier this week it was from a flap-up in accounts and I got paid twice by the same publication for one piece of work. Usually I would give the money back straight away. In this instance however, I was fully immersed in beetroot-shaped poverty and had just received an email from the accounts lady, an email that was destined for the publisher but accidentally sent to me, and simply read: “Can you tell this guy to fuck off.”
Now, this lady in accounts isn’t the first person ever to tell pitchingtheworld to fuck off and won’t be the last, but I felt a bit put out as all I was doing was chasing up money that was late and owed to me, and threatening them with the UK Late Payments of Commercial Debts (interest) Act 1998. It’s a good Act, I like it, and worth bearing in mind when chasing up money.
But it’s not all good news, it never is in the life of pitchingtheworld. No, now I’m in credit with said publisher and they’re tossing me bits of work here and there to do and it’s quite tricky doing work that you’ve already been paid for. Is for me, at least.
Still, I’ll do it and try to do it well. Know what else I’m going to do? Here’s what: next week you’ll all be able to feast your eyes on a series of pie charts that I’m working on, that will chart my progress so far. Imagine that. It’s going to happen too. Not like previous promises that I’ve made then spectacularly broken. There’s no way the pie charts won’t happen.
Pitching the World 
Got any hariy-pie charts you can post for us?
Sorry, for some unexplicable reason my comment got posted as being from pitchingtheword, despite being from my computer. Readers will think you’ve lost the plot posting lewd comments to yourself. Anyway, I’d love to feast my eyes on your hairy-pie charts. Next week.
This blog is quickly establishing itself as one of several I peruse when I’m meant to be doing productive stuff. No pressure or anything, though!
Quite interesting you should mention City College Brighton and Hove as that’s where I’m currently taking my newspaper NCTJ.
You should venture over and attempt to find one of those cheap train fares. Admittedly the whole process will be of minimal financial reward, and of doubtful reward generally, but it would make for an interesting presentation.
This is assuming you don’t make it as a professional football player in the next week or so. As someone who harbours many dreams that should have long since been eroded by the cold realities of the world, I applaud your efforts.
Pitchingtheworld doesn’t care for the cold realities of the world, he prefers instead to while away his time with ill-thought out scheming and deluded aspirations of success. I think this is why I, and so many others, are drawn to his aphoristic stylings.
Deep stuff Griffo, keep it up. You’re on the money, of course.
Al T, I might just venture over, you never know. Keep your eyes peeled. And thanks for being a good egg.