Daily Archives: April 11, 2011

Pitch Pitch Pitch Pitch Pitch Pitch

Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect, as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.

Albert Einstein said that. Good, isn’t he? Well I think he’s good. And, get this, the invisible piper has piped. Oh, he’s piped all right. Earlier, when I was opening the fridge in my associate’s house where I’ve been staying from time to time, I noticed something. I must have opened that fridge 40-50 times over the last week or so and not noticed the something that I have since noticed. Writers, apparently, are supposed to be observant. I’m not especially. If anything, I’m chronically under-observant. Good, isn’t it?

The point. The point is as I was opening the fridge earlier I noticed something. And I took a photo of it as some sort of ‘proof’ that I haven’t gone completely mad. I also took a photo of it to finally put to bed any thoughts I’ve had of becoming a professional photographer.

Anyway, here’s what I noticed. But be careful, it’s likely to blow your mind completely the hell apart:

Nuts, isn’t it? And spooky. What do you mean you can barely make it out? It says ‘Pitch’ six times. On flags, representing different parts of the world. And it’s on the fridge. That last bit may not matter.  But the piper is telling me to pitch – to pitch the world. And if the piper pipes – and he has, he definitely has – then I follow. First stop for today? Poultry World. To be honest, my pitch so far isn’t looking in great shape:

“Dear Poultry World Editor,

I’ll be honest: I don’t know a great deal about chickens. That’s not a good start, is it? And look, it gets worse: I know even less about poultry. (In fact, I just had to look up what poultry encompassed. Did you know that poultry includes not only chickens, turkeys, quails and the like, but also waterfowl and even pigeons and doves? Of course you do, you’re the editor of Poultry World.) However, although I may not know a huge amount about poultry, I am capable of…”

 What follows better be good. Wish me luck.