No one has any money. At least that’s what they’re telling me. “We’d love you to write for us” they say “but we’re struggling.” “We have not been immune from the country’s financial meltdown” they say “and are not in a position to hire you at present, entertaining though that would clearly be.” And they go on: “What a brilliant email – I like your style, and you are certainly the first tramp to pitch me ideas. Which is definitely good.”
Or perhaps I’m just, you know, a bit shit. Am I actually, you know, a bit shit? Or a lot shit? Actually don’t tell me, I just don’t think I could take that kind of rejection. At the moment though, I just don’t feel as though I’m getting anywhere with my pitching. I think this is due, in part, because I’m not getting anywhere with my pitching. Of course I’ll keep plugging away. God loves a trier, they say. If you’re gonna be dumb you gotta be tough, they say.
Besides, who needs money when you’re sponsored by Relentless? Me, obviously, and probably you too, but who else? Who cares, I’m being sponsored by Relentless. How many writers writing about pitching/not pitching 642 magazines are sponsored by Relentless, a drink for those with serious energy needs that gives you the stamina, focus and drive you need, when you need it? Not many is my guess.
For the time being I’d rather not go into the ins and outs of my sponsorship. This is mainly because I don’t really know about the ins and outs of my sponsorship. I think for the time being it might be an idea just to mention Relentless a lot. But does it go against my principles to mention Relentless a lot? Relentless, that gives you the stamina, focus and drive you need, when you need it? Surely my readers would have serious energy needs if they had to wade through loads of talk of Relentless. And how could those serious energy needs be fulfilled? I’ll leave that one up to you.
Anyway, enough of this nonsense. For those of you who are interested, there’s only another day or so to vote for which story you’d like me to write this week. See Witness the Fiction for more (thrilling) detail. At the moment it looks as if I’m going to be writing College Dog, a short story about a dog going to college. A massive 41.46% of the country want this. And I do mean the country, not just the award-winning readers of Pitching the World.